A Feminist Response to 90-Day Fiancé

Thumbnail via Know Your Meme.

This article contains brief mention of sexual assault and 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days spoilers. 

90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days has definitely gained some traction, whether from recent viewers disseminating Big Ed memes or die-hard-long-time fans. The power dynamic displayed by American men in relationships with foreign significant others is questionable. The show hardly sheds light on how demeaning some of their actions can be. Let’s pull some receipts on uncomfortable situations that a few men of the show perpetuated:

Big Ed

Original image via Know Your Meme.

Big Ed gained some attention on Twitter from his controlling nature and fragile masculinity. From telling his then-partner Rose Marie Vega to shave her legs, to awkwardly trying to make up for his mistakes through material gestures, to chucking a bottle of mouthwash at her, to uncomfortably offering lingerie to Rose, lying about wanting more kids, and generally behaving like a controlling human being, there are some massive problems with the dynamic. Big Ed is the poster child for modern-day colonization. He found a woman of color overseas and tried to mold and shape her into exactly what he wanted. Spoiler: it didn’t work.

Geoffrey Paschel

Original Image via lifestylenewsonline.

Geoffrey is notable for his shady past, only relaying his criminal history to his partner, Varya, after he comes to visit her in her hometown. A petition to remove this man from the TLC network reminds us that “he has been accused of kidnapping, abuse, rape, child endangerment, dealing drugs, felony larceny, theft and battery,” the petition reads. “He is barred from ever entering Canada.” Lest we forget that he threw a bit of a temper tantrum after Varya said she wanted to get to know him a bit better before marrying him. The situation is undoubtedly shady, and we just hope Varya is okay.

David Murphey

Original Image via Starcasm.

A simp in his truest form. David Murphey traveled to Ukraine four times in order to meet Lana, a woman he had solely interacted with on Ukranian dating sites. Lana was just 17 years old when they met. She later avoided meeting him, until she finally united with David after he revisited Ukraine a fifth time. This persistent pursuit definitely raised some red flags. He surely wasn’t aware of how to take “no” for an answer. David boasted tons of money and gifts and begged for affection from Lana in a wildly cringey manner after they finally met. Seems a little fishy, no?

The way in which American men are portrayed to exploit women abroad — especially women of color — is clearly a trademark of western patriarchy. Does watching 90-Day Fiancé make us bad feminists? Or is it just waking us up to the inequality in relationships of this nature? Let us know!

  • Does watching 90-Day Fiancé make us bad feminists?

    • Yes – the show supports a lot of misogynistic values.
    • No – this is just an honest broadcast.


Written by Marina Martinez

Arizonan student at the University of Edinburgh, dog lover, desert rat, meme aficionado and coffee enthusiast.

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