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The Brits Get English Plain Wrong

I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for British English, as I think a lot of Americans do. I always thought it was so fun and classy and exciting when they said things like “rubbish” and “telly.”  Now, I seriously find myself arguing to the death about the correct words and phrases for all kinds of things. It’s even more wild since there are probably thousands of dialects in Britain, and tons in the U.S. as well.

Recently, I was having a conversation with a Scottish person the other day and said “knock on wood” (admittedly a common 2020 phrase.) I was quickly met with a correction, where it was adamantly stated that I should be saying touch wood. Which is just wrong. So wrong.

It did get me thinking, if I could create an entirely new English language that’s sort of a blend between American and British dialects, which phrases would I pick and choose? Thus, this series of polls was born. In my humble opinion, about 8 times out of 10, American English is a simple improvement on what the redcoats left us with. Put me in my place if that’s a little out of hand, though.

If you could create a new English dialect, which of these words would you choose? Take the polls below and solve my internal crisis. For clarity’s sake, the first option is what Americans usually say.

Thumbnail by David Jakab via Pexels.

  • Question of

    Sweater or Jumper?

    • Sweater
    • Jumper
  • Question of

    Underwear or Pants?

    • Underwear
    • Pants
  • Question of

    Gas or Petrol?

    • Gas
    • Petrol
  • Question of

    Elevator or Lift?

    • Elevator
    • Lift
  • Question of

    Garbage or Rubbish?

    • Garbage
    • Rubbish
  • Question of

    Trash Can or Bin?

    • Trash Can
    • Bin


Written by Marina Martinez

Arizonan student at the University of Edinburgh, dog lover, desert rat, meme aficionado and coffee enthusiast.

What do you think?



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