Worst & Best Pickup Lines

We’ve all been here, right? At this point the dating app life is as universal as drinking water. And often, our water is polluted. Humans are like, ~90% water or something? Whatever, that’s not really important to this.

Check out these pickup lines and vote on what you’re feeling. Which of these lines would you use to greet a friend, and which would send you running?

And for anything classically cringeworthy or basic I might have missed, this guy, Jon Foor, has got us covered.

#1 Suh dude?

Cute. Mad cute. It's all in the "suh."

#2 Hey what’s up?

Have gotten this one many times. Basic. Non-threatening. 10/10, how I would greet a friend.

#3 Sooo ur really pretty :p

Though I understand dating apps are based on physical attraction, I guess I really wish they weren’t. Thank you though, I guess.

#4 What are you on here for? Let me take you out for some dinner.

If you're willing to feed me, I vibe with you.

#5 hey i am a he but im still looking for me

What?? I genuinely don’t even know what you are trying to say. I don’t think you’ll find yourself in another person though. . .

#6 Imma eat you like soup

Does that mean I have to go into a blender first? Scary. Very scary.

#7 I like the way you walk up hills 🤷‍♂️

When did you see me walk up a hill? My hiking photo doesn’t really count.

#8 Merry christmas

Festive. 10/10, how I would greet a (Christmas-celebrating) friend.

#9 You smell good

Again, there’s NO way you can know that!!

#10 Hippity hoppity hello

Not really into it, but completely individual, so props there!

#11 You’re gonna be my wife

Is this supposed to be a proposal? I don’t like being told what to do. Also it says you're looking for your first ex-wife? While I support divorce, that's not really my goal.

#12 Going to Whole Foods want me to pick you up anything?

So thoughtful and considerate. 10/10, how I would greet a friend. Again, if you're feeding me, I'm vibing.

#13 You tryna fall in love with me?

No, I am not. This is an app. Nothing wrong with app love, but check out this article if you feel similarly! Or differently. Open your mind man.

#14 I’m not good at pickup lines so uh hey

No one is good at pick up lines. I respect the owning up but, also, like, you can just say "hey."

#15 You have gorgeous eyes.

Dude, can you even really see my eyes in any of these photos??? Let me answer that for you: no. You cannot.

#16 You seem cute and quirky. Would you say you have any quirks?

Duh! Let me be your manic pixie dream girl, please!

#17 SOMF (read below)

This may sound like I’m fuckin with you but I’m not. I was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease called cyroaudiovascularmexia. Google it if you want. Essentially, I don’t get enough blood to my ears so they are slowly freezing, and they will soon fall off and it will spread to my inner ear and brain. There is no cure, but there is one treatment. I need to warm my ears constantly to save my life and the only material soft enough is the inner thigh of a pretty girl. So I need you to sit on my face. For medical reasons.

This is a CLASSIC copy and paste but WHO wrote this first?? I don’t know if you’re gross or a meme lord. Probably both.